On Thursday, May 19, 2016, I gave a speech at Lavender Graduation, a graduation ceremony hosted by the University of Virginia’s LGBTQ Center to celebrate the accomplishments of LGBTQ+ and allied students. Above is the video of my speech, while below is a transcription of my speech. Thank you again to my peers who invited me to share my thoughts and congratulations to the Class of 2016!
While writing this speech, I found it difficult to find a starting point—would I start with my desire to go to UVA after visiting Grounds in 2011 OR would I begin with the day my mother dropped me off at UVA OR would I mention the day I met someone who ended up literally leading me to the LGBTQ Center OR would I quote our founder Thomas Jefferson? Of course, I have now started with all of these thoughts, except for the quote from TJ, but I am sure I will hear enough of his words this weekend.
So where have I actually decided to begin my speech? I’ll start with something I have come to realize over this past year: for me, none of this was planned. You see, when I started at UVA, I thought I might want to study psychology but really had no clue, and I did not expect to become involved with social justice issues.
During my first semester here, I enrolled in a class called Introduction to LGBTQ Studies, which was the first semester it was offered. In my class was another first year, who wore scarves all the time. One day he was hanging around my dorm with one of my hallmates, and I decided this was my chance to make a new friend. So, I said, “I think you are in my Intro to LGBTQ Studies course. Do you understand queer theory?” He replied along the lines of, “Yeah, we should talk about it sometime.” And that was the start of my friendship with Connor.
Connor was the one who introduced me to the LGBTQ Center, or, rather the LGBT Resource Center. That’s right, before the LGBTQ Center there was the LGBT Resource Center or, as we called it, the “RC.” The RC was located on the fourth floor of Newcomb Hall, in a space about a quarter of the size of the current center. This small room, which is beside what is now labeled a gender-neutral bathroom (yay!), was where I met many people in the LGBTQ+ community. As an ally, I was unsure how people might receive me—would I be encroaching upon their space? Despite my insecurities, many people welcomed me.
By my second year, I continued to meet people in the community through my internship with the LGBTQ Center as the Speakers’ Bureau Intern. Through my experience as an intern, I gained presentation and communication skills. But, more importantly, I gained many friends. By listening to the stories of LGBTQ+ individuals, I started to learn about the multifaceted identities people possess, as well as the various ways in which people express themselves.
The same year I interned with the Center, I also declared my major in Women, Gender, and Sexuality. This move was completely unplanned when I entered college because at that point, I did not see a reason to study gender and sexuality. I thought it was a useless area and did not realize all that can be done with this major. However, after taking Intro to Gender Studies, I changed my mind and found many uses for this major. My passion for this area of study started with my interest in LGBTQ rights, so I want to thank say “thank you” to the people in this room who allowed me to make mistakes, welcomed me, and shared their stories and thoughts with me.
Now, I want everyone to take a moment to think about all of your own accomplishments as students at the University. Take a second to think about what you have accomplished and who has influenced, advised, and/or inspired you. Appreciate yourselves for your feats. Remember the positive changes we’ve observed within our career at this University. For example, the LGBT Resource Center changed its name to the LGBTQ Center and moved to a bigger space in Newcomb. Student involvement in the Center has increased. Brunch no longer consists of a box of cookies and coffee that only a handful of students attend, but rather takes place biweekly on the Lawn and has many visitors. Gender-neutral bathroom signs started to appear on single stall restrooms. Sigma Omicron Rho became the University’s first queer and allied gender-inclusive fraternity to be voted into the Multicultural Greek Council. Gender identity was added to the University’s nondiscrimination policy. We’ve started singing the “Good Old Song” the right way at Love Is Love. On a national level, we saw the legalization of same-sex marriage.
While these positives occurred for the LGBTQ community during our time here, we have also experienced the harsh realities of the world and the bigotry still present in today’s society. Just a few weeks ago, someone chalked racist and transphobic comments on the sidewalks and when several students gathered to write new, positive messages to counter those written by the original chalker, the new chalkings were debased. We’ve heard the “Not Gay” chant one too many times. We endured the people who came to the Amphitheater to tell us that we are sinners. We have yet to see gender-neutral housing options. We survived malicious attacks on our University community from the media. We have felt underappreciated and overlooked. We have felt defeated. We mourned the passing of our peers. We struggled to uphold a mask of perfection. Sometimes, we lay awake at night thinking about injustices within the world.
Despite all of this, we woke up in the morning and continued to work towards our goals. We leaned on one another. We supported each other. We lifted each other up. We reminded one another that we don’t have to hide behind illusions. We persevered. We are resilient. We keep fighting.
Last summer, my mother asked me if I was glad that I ended up at UVA since I had just endured one of the most emotionally draining and academically trying years of my life. I answered “yes.” Here’s why. At UVA, I learned more about myself and the world around me than I thought possible. The people I interact with challenge my thinking and make me want to learn more. In order for my thinking to change, I had to unlearn many things I’d been taught early on in life. I had to start questioning my position within the world and decide to live with intention. I don’t want anyone to think this journey was an easy one because it tried me in so many ways. I saw imperfections within the fabric of the University. I started to realize why people say, “Ignorance is bliss,” but I also came to the conclusion that ignorance is an excuse used by people to avoid blame. I learned from those around me, but I also had to do a lot of personal, internal discovery and reshaping. So where does that leave me?
Recently, my aunt and uncle came to visit, and during lunch, my aunt looked at me with a twinkle in her eye, a grin across her face, and said, “Who would have ever thought you would end up doing all you have done?” I told her what I’ve told so many people over the past few months, “I know, none of this was a part of my original plan.” The truth is, if you had asked me right after my high school graduation what I would get involved with in college, I would not have listed any of the things that have shaped my experience at UVA. So, I want to say thank you again to all of the students who allowed me to embark on this journey with you. I want to give another note of thanks to the faculty and staff at this University who have served as advisors and mentors to me and have taken the time to get to know me beyond my academic involvements. Your leadership and guidance means so much to me. Without all of the people who I’ve come into contact with at the University, I may have never become involved in the LGBTQ Center, which means I would probably have never decided to work with groups and organizations like the Maxine Platzer Lynn Women’s Center, One Less, Green Dot, and Take Back the Archive. If I had not been involved in those groups, I more than likely would have never written a senior thesis. And, honestly, I cannot imagine my life without any of these elements or the people I met along the way.
My point from all of this is: we don’t always have a plan, but we can open our minds to possibility, continue to strive to live with intention, and create our own paths.
Thank you!